KittyKittyKitKat
by tii-chan17
Summary: Crack fic. Urahara is bored-be afraid, be very afraid-and decides to plot a way to irritate our favourite feline friend! What could possibly go wrong! Rated for safety, and the Rules & Guidlines thingy for some reason isn't appearing, sooo... XP


**A/N: Yeah, so I'm ill, off school for the day, and I decided to come up with this little...bit of word-vomit. It's completely random, I know, and before anyone who is also reading my GinRan fic yells at me for slacking off when I should be writing it, I actually _have _written Chapter 7 (Shock! Horror!), but will not upload it for a couple of days! Anyway, so this is just the result of sleep-deprivation and mild insanity due to too much caffeine. And an UraYoru addiction. Enjoy!  
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Kitty-Kitty-Kit-Kat

"Oi! Kisuke! What the hell is this?" Yoruichi yelled from her position frozen in the doorway to the storeroom in the candy shop.

"Hm? What is what, Yoruichi-san?" came the voice of the blond storekeeper behind her.

Yoruichi pointed to the huge pile of chocolate lying on the floor. "_That_. What is it?"

"…Chocolate, Yoruichi-san."

"Yeah, I know that! God, what do you take me for? I meant, _why so much and what is it doing here?_"

"Well, this _is _a candy shop, Yoruichi-san…" Urahara mused, sarcastically tapping his chin with his fan. "I'm not quite sure why a pile of chocolate would be in a _candy _shop…"

"Quit it Kisuke, and don't give me that crap. You've never bought your stock before, you make it yourself. Poor kids, no wonder no one buys from here anymore…" she said, shaking her head.

"Hey! That was unnecessary! My home-made candy is delicious!"

"And poisonous. So, why have you bought all this? I know you well enough not to be fooled if you tell me you decided to finally get edible candy for your shop."

"Ah, well, you see, I thought you'd like it!" Kisuke announced, holding his fan up in a ridiculously over-dramatised pose.

"…Kisuke, I know I like dairy products, but that doesn't mean—"

"No, no, Yoruichi-san! Look at the name!" Kisuke prompted her.

Yoruichi narrowed her eyes and walked over to the massive pile of candy. Before picking one up, she looked over at Kisuke again.

"Will it blow up in my face?" she asked frankly.

"…Of course not!"

"I must be outta my mind…" Yoruichi muttered, hesitantly picking up one of the red-covered chocolate bars. Contrary to her worries, it did not explode. She turned it over and looked at the name. Then she looked at Kisuke patronizingly.

"Really? Really, Kisuke?"

"Really what?" the blond asked, barely containing his glee.

"You know I can't be bothered to learn all those daft western letters. What does it say?" she demanded, shoving the bar in his face.

"Ah yes, I completely forgot you couldn't read English!" Kisuke lied smoothly, taking the chocolate from her hand. "It says…Kit Kat!"

"…"

"Please don't look at me like that, Yoruichi-san."

"So, because its name has a mild reference to the feline species, you assumed I would like it?" Yoruichi asked, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, but not just that! I took the liberty of trying one myself, and they're actually very good!"

"Uh-huh. I'll be going now." said Yoruichi, turning on her heel and heading for the door.

"Wait, Yoruichi-san! Aren't you even going to try it?" asked the slightly injured shopkeeper.

"No." the Goddess of Flash informed him.

"Ah, dear, that's a shame…I guess I'll have to eat this myself then." the blond sighed dramatically, unwrapping the chocolate slowly and wafting it tantalizingly through the air. Yoruichi froze when the smell of the sweet came floating through the air to her nose.

'_Damn these dairy cravings_!' she cursed inwardly. Out loud, she said, "Fine. I'll try it."

"Excellent! But you can't have this one, Yoruichi-san! This one's mine." Kisuke informed her, shielding 'his' Kit Kat from her view.

"Hey. It was mine first. You gave it to me. Now give it." she commanded, holding out her hand.

"Nuh-uh!" teased the shopkeeper, holding it just out of her reach.

She stretched further, cursing her newly-made gigai for its non-ability to use shunpo. "Kisuke, give it to me."

"Why don't you just get another from the mahoosive pile over there?" Kisuke inquired, still not allowing her anywhere near his chocolate.

"Why don't you! That's _mine_!" she hissed, stretching as far as she could to try and snatch her Kit Kat out of his grasp, but, in failing that, tripping over his feet, falling onto his chest and sending both of them crashing to the ground.

They landed heavily with Kisuke flat on his back with his arms sprawled above his head, and Yoruichi bracing herself over him on her arms.

"Now _this _is a compromising position…" Kisuke stated, attempting to stand up again.

Yoruichi replied by bringing her face closer to his. "Is it?" she breathed, brushing her nose against his. Kisuke gulped, freezing. "I personally think this is quite a useful position as it allows me to do _this_!" she yelled, grabbing the Kit Kat and jumping off him, racing at full speed towards the doorway. "See ya, sucker!" he heard her call from outside.

Kisuke sighed and picked himself up off the floor, brushing down his clothes. That was underhanded, even by his standards. He had kind of asked for it, but he wasn't going to let her get away that easily. He straightened up and smirked before he vanished into a blur of speed. Unlike Yoruichi's, his gigai _did _let him use shunpo.

Needless to say, it wasn't very long until Urahara caught up with the Goddess of Flash. When he reached her, he pushed her up against the wall of a nearby building and put his face very close to hers.

"Where is it?" he hissed. Yoruichi's only answer was an evil grin. Then he noticed the smear of chocolate just below her left lip. "You wouldn't! You didn't!"

"I did. And it was absolutely delectable, if I may say so!" she crowed gleefully.

"Why, you…how dare you eat my chocolate?" Kisuke scowled at her.

"Told ya, Kisuke. It ain't yours! Oh no, wait! It _wasn't _yours!" she burst into uproarious laughter.

"Well, that bit _is _mine."

"Huh? What bi—mmph!" Yoruichi was cut off by Kisuke crashing his lips over hers, deftly licking off the brown smudge on her lower lip. After a couple of moments, he broke away, smirking.

"Ah, the sweet taste of victory!" he said smugly, walking away on his daft sandals and leaving Yoruichi to her inner turmoil.

'_What goes around, comes around, I guess…'_ she sighed inwardly, unconsciously licking her lips where they had met his. She made a mental note never to fall for one of Kisuke's stupid pranks again.

**A/N: Yeah, kinda short, but I'm not really up to writing massive long thingys when I've already got a massive long thingy on the go.** **That being my GinRan fic, by the way. Sooo...I'm not really expecting any response to this at all, but hey, any comments/reviews/feedback are greatly appreciated! I know I need improvement, but I can't seem to be able to convince my friends to read my more random stories and get their opinions. It appears they are scared to know the inner workings of my mind... **

**Which is understandable! Hope you enjoyed! This is tii-chan17, signing out to go nom on a coupla hundred biscuits!**


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